Clickbait of the Week: Who’s Colin Kaepernick’s Father?

In this week’s clickbait we will discover the identity of the father of the controversial San Francisco quarterback, Colin Kaepernick. Or, will we . . . ?

I clicked on this article because it actually made me interested. I never thought about it before, obviously, but them saying, “You Won’t Believe Who Colin Caepernick’s Father Is” made me wonder if he is A) an athlete (athleticism is certainly genetic), or, much more interestingly, since I “Won’t Believe it”, B) some kind of political activist / freedom fighter. With all of the mystery that’s being built up, part of me even wishes he’d even be a writer or something.

Here’s the link. Don’t click on it!

But of course! The article isn’t actually about Colin Kaepernick, now is it? The piece is actually entitled “Celebrities and Politicians with Famous Parents” and who am I learning about? Stuff I already knew. That Martin Sheen is Charlie Sheen’s dad (also Emilio Estevez, by the way); Tom Hanks is Colin Hanks’ dad; Debbie Reynolds is Carrie Fisher’s mom. Guess how many links there are to click through . . . 148?!?!!

Would somebody contact this website, Brain Smuggler, and ask them if there is someone who exists in this world who actually clicked through this piece 1848 times. It can't be possible. I hope it's not possible. Please, oh please, dear humanity, tell me it's not possible that someone rode that ship to the end.

Because when you’re on the site, you have ads popping up from the bottom, videos on the side, you get redirected to other sites randomly. I had to struggle, and have my computer nearly shut down once, just to get through ten or so celebrities. But, I did stay in long enough, THANK GOD, to find out that Ed Begley, Jr. is, believe it or not, the son of Ed Begley, and also that the website couldn’t find a photo of Adam Arkin, so instead of removing the content, they just doubled up with two photos of Alan Arkin, his dad. Yes—same photo, two times.

Colin Kaepernick’s dad? Maybe he was a CPA or something.