How to Not Stay Focused While Working Your Social Media Job

Since the advent of the assembly line, Frederick Winslow Taylor’s working algorithms, and now, Facebook’s controversial algorithms used to calculate your interests and sell you products, businesses and different types of organizations have focused on becoming more and more efficient. How can the product be made faster and with less technical flaws? How can we produce more value in less time for less money? This also led to the remarkable 80's movie Gung Ho (Oh, Michael Keaton . . .).

Today, social media is a hyper-efficient way to deliver and share information, and in turn, sell your product and promote your company. But, since there's so much information already on it constantly being updated through its ticker on top of your homepage ("You have 1 new tweet... You have 2 new tweets... You have 76 new tweets ...), it's easy to get sidetracked and forget why you even went into social media in the first place. This is what this article is all about. Ways to maximize that. If you'd like to minimize distraction and maximize efficiency, then you should do the opposite of all these things, plus, maybe join a yoga studio (which is also a great way to meet new people).

Follow All Your Ex's Through Your Company's Pages

There's no better time waster than playing guessing games as to the details of your exs' lives. Are they dating someone? For how long? Do they prefer that person to you? Do they secretly wish they were still dating you, and not this loser? Who are these people that you don't know liking your exs’ posts? Perhaps you should look at their pages and figure out the dynamics of their relationship . . .

Get Involved Politically

As all news outlets inform us in every waking second of every day, this is "the most important election of our time." And things are hot. So hot, in fact, you could burn an hour with very little effort engaging in comment box arguments with fake Facebook and Twitter accounts, or listen to pundits who tell you what to think.

Have 76 Pages Open on Your Browser at the Same Time

Sure, there's no reason why you can't learn the history of the Bolshevik Revolution, manage a SaaS company's Twitter and Pinterest, find photos for an article on different concrete composites, read BuzzfeedThe OnionClickhole, 7 different articles in The Huffington Post, and promote an interview you just did with Billy Idol on Brexit--all at the same time. You're a fu**ing millennial. You were born for this.

Watch Cute Animal Videos

This one might be worth losing your job. Did you see the one with the monkey that wouldn't stop jumping on that dog’s backToo cute! He was seriously so in love with him . . . It was ad-o-ra-bleeeeeeee.